November 30, 2023

I can lower my defenses with God.

I don’t have to be discerning when I’m with him, because everything he speaks is true.

I can approach him with naïveté and full trust—and that is a gift, amidst a very broken world.

July 15, 2023 (God’s Provision)

There’s a theme of God’s provision that runs through the pages of scripture, like the ring of condensation left by my cold brew cup this morning—seeping, spreading, soaking through layer upon layer. It’s slow, yet sudden; gradual, yet instant; a moment-by-moment dispersal of living water. It’s God’s well-timed provision of:

Manna in the wilderness (Exodus 16)

A way out, in our moments of temptation (1 Cor 10:13)

Words to speak when we are called to bear witness (Matt 10:19)

Essential needs, so we don’t have to hoard, stockpile, or carry unnecessarily heavy loads as we go (Matt 6:26, 10:9-10)

In our moments of lack, we reach out for God. And in the greatest miracle of all, we find him: the alpha and omega; the beginning and the end. But also, the eternal. The one with us, in this very present moment. Emmanuel.

I’m reminding my heart: do not fret, or become anxious beforehand, wondering if God will provide, squandering away present, precious hours in worry and fear. There is no need. He will give as the hour draws near, just as Corrie ten Boom knew, and once touchingly wrote:

“Father sat down on the edge of the narrow bed. ‘Corrie,’ he began gently, ‘when you and I go to Amsterdam—when do I give you your ticket?’

I sniffed a few times, considering this.

‘Why, just before we get on the train.’

‘Exactly. And our wise Father in heaven knows when we're going to need things, too. Don't run out ahead of Him, Corrie. When the time comes (…), you will look into your heart and find the strength you need—just in time.’”

Ash Wednesday + some thoughts on Revival (February 22, 2023)

“I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” — Jesus

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Since my return to social media last week, I’ve been loosely tracking the outpouring/revival happening at Asbury University. And in so doing, I keep stumbling upon articles, like this one by Christianity Today, that use words like genuine, peaceful, quiet, and ordinary to describe what’s happening there:

“The mix of hope and joy and peace is indescribably strong and indeed almost palpable—a vivid and incredibly powerful sense of shalom. The ministry of the Holy Spirit is undeniably powerful but also so gentle.” — Christianity Today

When I read these words, I’m absolutely beside myself. I’m filled with encouragement and deep hope.

Because for some years now, I’ve been feeling a profound and relentless ache for the church—a hunger—to return to a simpler way of being. With every sensationalized headline of evangelistic abuse, and with every experience I’ve had of disillusionment and spiritual manipulation, my heart has broken. It has cried out for justice; for sincere hearts; for return and repentance. Without using so many words, I think my heart—for all this time—has been crying out for revival.

I firmly believe with every fiber of my being that the church needs to (and perhaps now, is) move, shift, recount, and recalibrate. I believe that’s what she needs. Because her people are tired. People, especially young people, are tired of the façade. They’re tired of power plays and empty consumerism; of performative religion executed in the name of love. Quite frankly, I am tired, too: tired of personality-driven churches and celebrity culture; tired of deceit; dishonesty; and exploitation. I’m tired of churches that place a higher value on serving Jesus than knowing Jesus. I’m tired of hyperactivity at the expense of spiritual formation. I’m burdened by the amount of Christ-confessing sisters and brothers who are still living, unknowingly, in deep bondage, because they haven’t been discipled into the presence of God. They don’t realize that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom (2 Corinthians 3:17). They’ve been serving and singing and they know all the words, but they haven’t yet tasted and seen that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8).

They don’t yet realize that they are deeply loved.

And my heart is shattered by that.

For many months, I’ve been searching and scanning the greater church for others who feel and sense the same pull that I do: towards simplicity, health, and wholeness. In a world that largely resists the humble, small, and slow — and a church that has replaced ordinary faithfulness with an endless scheme of grand gestures — it has been rare.

But I’m seeing a glimpse of it now at Asbury.

“Anyone who has witnessed it (the outpouring) can agree that something unusual and unscripted is happening. […] There is no pressure or hype. There is no manipulation. There is no high-pitched emotional fervor. To the contrary, it has so far been mostly calm and serene.” — Christianity Today

When I read words like these, I find the strength to reach for those shattered fragments that rest on the floor; I find the faith to mend them back together.

When I read those words, I find Jesus: the one who describes himself as gentle and lowly.

And I begin to hope again.

December 21, 2022

I made a joke to myself tonight—as I gazed into the abyss of my kitchen sink—that ‘I really better get this cleaned up before Christmas! Can’t have Jesus coming when I have a dirty house!’

But then I quickly realized how faulty my thinking was, even as a joke, because isn’t humanity’s cumulative mess the very reason Jesus came? Jesus—who was born in a cave, or a manger, or however those verses translate contextually—is certainly not afraid of disorder. The one who dined in the homes of tax collectors—with their dirty kitchens and dirty hearts—never once shied away from a mess.

Jesus would surely understand my cluttered kitchen, and my thoughts tumble onward until I also realize: Jesus would probably help me do my dishes, because isn’t that just who he is? A God-man with a servant’s heart, who has all the time in the world to help clean up our mundane messes.

Both inside and out.

Merry (early) Christmas, friends.